Archive for July, 2008

Fear

Posted in Magic on July 23, 2008 by Ezikiel

When you fear something, it can be immobilizing. A magician, like most perfectionists, strives to control his own will in the chaos around him. By learning this control, the inner universe is at the command of the magician. One of the things that I have always had a problem overcoming, is the fear of what lies dormant inside. As an Otherkin, albeit a demonic Otherkin, my human nature was raised to be fearful of the things that were dark. Over the years, I have since embraced this aspect of myself. When I was a child, and having night terrors of me rending the flesh from my family, I was a very confused individual.

One thing that I did in order to learn more about my fear, was to immerse myself into the experience. While I was dreaming, I would often wake up in a panic, heart racing. If I did, I’d close my eyes, and hold that terror close to me, knowing that if this was the worst that I could feel, that I’d be stronger by being able to stand it.

Embracing the fear in other ways can be an essential practice to the path of a Shaman, Magician, or just a person wanting to improve their surroundings. In old days, there are reports and confirmations of people heading into the dangerous wilderness in order to master their fear of the unknown. The Native American tribes practiced this as a way of affirming the place in life of the person taking this rite of passage. The animal totem that would be symbolize them also came into the life of the person the passed this trial. While animal totems can be found through these exercises, they are a little bit out of the scope of this article.

I developed a meditation of primal human fears, both old and new. This meditation is meant to be guided by an outside party, because of the nature of the meditation I suggest it. If you do not have access to someone to read the meditation to you, you can record it and guide yourself through the process. For this meditation, we will be walking through different “gates,” through each one following a winding path that leads us up to, and through (it took me a few tries on some of these…) that fear. Every time I do this┬ámeditation ,I find myself at peace after the initial immersion. I suggest this meditation be done until you can get through all of the gates comfortably. I will publish them in short bursts at random- so to start off, here is the first one.

The Fear Gates

Gate 1

As you lay there, feel your breathing fill your body. Deeply in, deeply out, slowly. Come to a relaxed state, and allow the images in your mind to come, and pass, flowing off of you like water. Imagine your body, floating in the sea, the waves of thought gently rock you back and forth, relaxing you, calming you.

Now, feel the waves rock you a little more. Feel your skin shy away from something coming up from deep within the black waters. Feel something strong wrap around your leg, weighing you down. The serpentine coils engulf your leg as the water begin to thrash with the tentacles that threaten to swallow you whole. Feel the muscles as the tighten on your flesh, the slick of water as it is pressed from your skin and replaced with the cold and loathesome embrace of the monster below you.

Feel your breath, steady yourself and find the rhythm of the waves crashing around you. Feel yourself drawing strength from the beast, pulling it’s power into your body. As you sap it’s strength, feel it’s tough skin give way, and wrinkle. Pull from it’s core, and feel the limbs falling from your body. Breath deeply.

Feel the waves begin to calm.

Advertisements